Loooooow...

I feel like fucking crying.

I feel like I wanna rip my own lungs out and smash up my work monitor with them.

I hate the way I feel. I feel as if every single direction I turn in leads to a dead end. I feel claustrophobic, panicked, rushed, I can't think clearly, I can't see straight.

I'm continuously bringing up bile/acid.

I want to cry more.

I want to move in with Kaz, I want to tell her to fuck off and leave me alone and move back into my parents.

I wanna scream so loud that even the gods will hear me, just before I run through the 7th floor window of my office, taking that final sweet lungful of cold air before everything ends.

I wanna live, I wanna die, I wanna get out of this fucked up place.

Heartburn or heartattack?

Every time I get angry now I get a mass load of bile and acid rise up my windpipe.

Starting to get chest pains with it.

Don't want to go to the doctors about it. If I die of a heart attack, so be it.

Note to others: telling people to "calm down" or "don't stress so much" doesn't work. It only pisses them off more.