Loooooow...

I feel like fucking crying.

I feel like I wanna rip my own lungs out and smash up my work monitor with them.

I hate the way I feel. I feel as if every single direction I turn in leads to a dead end. I feel claustrophobic, panicked, rushed, I can't think clearly, I can't see straight.

I'm continuously bringing up bile/acid.

I want to cry more.

I want to move in with Kaz, I want to tell her to fuck off and leave me alone and move back into my parents.

I wanna scream so loud that even the gods will hear me, just before I run through the 7th floor window of my office, taking that final sweet lungful of cold air before everything ends.

I wanna live, I wanna die, I wanna get out of this fucked up place.

Heartburn or heartattack?

Every time I get angry now I get a mass load of bile and acid rise up my windpipe.

Starting to get chest pains with it.

Don't want to go to the doctors about it. If I die of a heart attack, so be it.

Note to others: telling people to "calm down" or "don't stress so much" doesn't work. It only pisses them off more.

No names

I'm getting REALLY fucked off with this...

What the fuck is the point of going there just to be fucked around with, then leave with no fucking answers at all?

REALLY?? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT??

How comes I think of things to ask and you don't?? Why the fuck is it always me who has to ask questions?? Don't you give a shit at all?!? Or are you actually happy to be fed lines of continuous bullshit and swallow them like a fine glass of chablis?

And now I've just realised I've got a meeting with the fucking bank; how the fuck am I going to focus on that when I've got this shit in the forefront of my mind??

AGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Music at work

ok... This is gonna sound weird, coming from me, but this is really starting to piss me off...

Someone's listening to music at work (not something I'd normally complain about) apart from that it's over the other side of the office, and the only part I can hear are two notes of a piano played in a different order at different timings.

If you're gonna listen to music, please do it so that either only yourself can hear it or so that EVERYONE CAN!!!

Now I can hear two notes being played at the same time (not the same two that I could hear before)

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Money

I fucking hate money, I wish it didn't exist.

I wish that we were in some Utopian nation where we didn't have to worry about the fiscal value of things. It would make life so much easier...

London Underground

All commuters,

It's not fucking hard. "Please move right down inside the carriages". It's plain fucking English. You've been crushed up against people before, you're not going to catch anything from them, just be a little bit more fucking considerate and actually move, ESPECIALLY if the train is packed!!!

COME ON PEOPLE!!!

Haiku

Chewing a bullet
Ideas running out my head
Want to get some sleep